March 8, 2006

• anytime you meet someone, you undoubtedly ask or get asked the question, 'what do you do for a living?'  a harmless question, one that could merely be an attempt to make conversation or be a casual probe to gain a better understanding of an individual's interests, lifestyle, or social class.  regardless of the purpose of the query, i will undoubtedly answer something self-deprecating like 'boring tech stuff' or 'what every asian guy around the bay area does.'  the detached tone of answer represents a lack of pride in my occupation, or more simply, a lack of interest in the question.  which is partially my intent; i want people to realize that for myself, work is work, and it's not something i'm passionate about.

  but upon closer examination, it's that same nonchalant tone that's surreptitiously being used to present myself in the best possible light.  by associating myself with the tech industry, it connotates at least some minimal left-brain intelligence (i.e. i'm not a dumbass) and places myself in the standard professional pool of overpaid tech workers in the bay area (i.e. i'm not in debt).  however, by answering in a cynical tone, i reveal disdain for my work, as if i could or should be doing something more interesting or fulfilling (i.e. please don't associate me with all the uncool aspects of being an engineer).  while i would argue that some engineers are among some of the smartest and most successful people i've ever met, there's just something that seems unimpressive about being 'simply' an engineer, especially in the silicon valley.  maybe that's why all the normal people eventually move to business positions or go to business or law school.   

  not to say that there's anything wrong with the tech industry or people that work in technology positions.  if anything, engineers rank quite highly in my own twisted social hierarchy of respectable occupations for some of the resons mentioned above (e.g. engineers typically possess some level of intelligence and financial stability).  and in reality, i'm not even quite a 'true' engineer myself - while i claim association with the high-tech industry, i have no engineering or technical degrees and have barely written any object-oriented code in my professional life.  as a liberal arts person in college, i spent more hours reading the the likes of weber and durkheim than i did in a computer lab (that's actually a lie, but you get my point).  yet somehow in this weird path of life i've gone from being a liberal arts softie to having titles like 'consultant', 'software engineer', and 'manager'.  of course, job titles are so vague and broad that they cover a wide spectrum of abilities and disciplines - i represent the low-end of the talent curve within a technology area that isn't exactly rocket science.  it's odd to think that a hack life myself can share the same title or salary as some of the truly brilliant and talented people that i've met or worked with.  needless to say,  i'm immensely fortunate and thankful for the opportunities that i've had; i just haven't always worked with the same level of passion or enjoyment as my peers.

  so what's my point?  as always there is none, except that i care a little too much about what other people think of me and that i talk about my dissatisfaction with work a little too much.  but that's already common knowledge.  i was actually meaning to write about a conference i attended last week before i started rambling on.  i guess my long-winded intro will suffice for now, so maybe i'll write about the conference later and shed some light on what exactly i do on a day-to-day basis (i.e. next to nothing).

  • 12:21 am
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