March 10, 2004

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  like many of my friends, i'm at a stage in my life where i wonder about my job and face decisions that could ultimately map out the rest of my professional life.  you could say i'm encountering the so-called 'twenty-something life crisis', where you're forced to re-evaluate your career and think hard about the future ahead.  i have questions similar to many others in my age-group:  can i see myself doing the same job for the rest of my life?  if not, what else do i see myself doing?  if indeed a career change is desirable, how should i go about doing it?  is it too late to even attempt such a change?  will friends, family, or the rest of the world judge me differently if i do something different or 'less practical'?

  there are always the lucky few who know exactly what they want and devote all their time and energy to reaching those goals.  for the rest of us, we often stumble into our occupations, whether those choices came from societal expectations or mere circumstance.  for myself, i've never really figured out what i've wanted - if anything i've wanted to do too many things (or nothing at all).  i won't bore you with the story of my life like i usually do, but i'll say this - you don't meet too many sociology majors in my line of work.  i would be a perfect example of someone who's truly stumbled upon their career path, be it through practical choices and/or economic circumstances.

  
  

  i typically see two sources of discontentment within my peer-group in the workplace.  one, the lack of personal fulfillment, and two, issues of self-esteem or self-worth.  there are other reasons for job dissatisfaction, but i do feel that the majority of workplace issues, at least for myself, can be traced to one if not both of these sources.

  the ideal of fulfillment is commonly associated with doing something altruistic, e.g. helping an old lady across the street, working at a soup kitchen. etc.  while we all desire to serve our fellow man to a certain extent, this gives an incomplete picture of where fulfillment comes from, especially as it relates to our careers.  there are plenty of us who are unhappy with their jobs, but this hardly means we'd rather be giving to the poor or feeding the hungry.  rather, we seek fulfillment in the sense that we all want a job where we genuinely care about our work.  for many, the knowledge of tangibly helping others and changing lives is a huge source of fulfillment.  but for others, this source of fulfillment can come from nearly anywhere.  for instance, i find work most fulfilling when i feel a sense of creativity and ownership.  if i'm implementing or producing my own ideas, i can't help but care for what i'm doing and feel a sense of pride and accomplishment when my work is completed and recognized.  of course, this rarely happens, hence my own current lack of personal fulfillment - i have very little ownership of my tasks and there's little chance for creativity and individual recongnition when you're doing stuff a monkey could probably replicate.

  the idea of recognition provides a lead-in for the second source of unhappiness in the workplace, lack of self-esteem or self-worth.  simply stated, we all want a job where we feel important.  what we deem as important is variable from person to person (importance may come from money, level of influence, occupation etc.), but the sentiments are the same.  at entry-levels, you need to have a clear view of what it takes to move up, and if performace, politics, or culture are preventing your career development, some dissatisfaction is to be expected.  you could easily love programming and get a job as a programmer, but if you're not very good or if you're treated like dirt, happiness may be a stretch.  taking it a step further, some occupations, no matter how well you're treated or how far you move up, might inherently feel inferior or lacking in prestige.  coming back to my own personal experience, i'm a tiny peon in a large, corporate culture, doing something i'm pretty mediocre at, working within a group that has limited visibility and no career advancement potential.  when you combine my menial position with an innately high self-esteem, a bit of discontentment is a given.

  of course, some people might get into trouble when they focus too heavily on one of these issues.  for instance, someone might spend their whole life trying to do something that makes them feel important, but ultimately have no passion for what they do.  or vice versa, someone devotes their career to something they truly care about, only to be unnecessarily burdened by finances or demeaned by the outside world.  there are other issues, such as work-life balance and money, that can also affect priorities, but even those issues don't negate the two basic desires described.

  so i need to find a career path where i not only care about what i'm doing, but also feel important.  unfortunately, such a perfect situation doesn't always exist; there's almost always going to be some compromises or misbalances somewhere.  regardless, i've given myself three options to move in that direction:

  1. go to business school.  this one falls under the 'making myself feel important' category.  while i have no strong desire to go to b-school, there is a strong part of me that desires stability and appeasing family and culture's views of success.  this would seem like the most practical thing to do and look most stable in the eyes of others.  and it's always possible that b-school will present new areas of opportunity that are more fulfilling than my current occupation.
  2. do something different.  some of you already know what these 'different' things may be.  but since i haven't done much schooling or research in these different areas, there's no guarantee that i'd necessarily be more fulfilled by any of these.  not to mention the time and finances sacrificed for education and future salary levels.  but for the chance to do something i truly love for a living, perhaps it's worth pursuing.  or at least to find out for sure and avoid future questions of 'what if?'.
  3. stay in my current position.  i do have a pretty good situation and it wouldn't be the end of the world to stay with my current company.  i work for a great company, work with awesome people, and have plenty of financial incentive to stick around.  but considering some of my earlier complaints, i feel this would simply be putting my life on hold and limiting my work-satisfaction potential.

  to avoid inertia, i have a self-imposed deadline of this fall to make a decision.  time is not on my side - see my 'marriage by age 30' post for more details.  which makes it all the more probable to go with #1 - who wants to marry a guy who is in the process of starting their career from scratch?  pretty much if i haven't done anything for #2, i'll start filling out b-school applications come september.  but who knows, maybe circumstances will change and i'll stay put.

  i realize i spend a lot of time talking about the obvious.  i guess i find it strangely therapeutic putting these thoughts into writing, however mundane they may be.

  • 10:33 am
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